I have come across people who enter into marriages, particularly love marriages, with the hope that they will transform their lives magically. They think love marriages are like magic, and work miracles; the way they see on television. If you are not happy being single, you can never be happy being married. Happiness comes from within. Marriage, be it arranged or love, needs a lot of work. Building homes takes energy, time, compromises and patience. It does not need "love" alone.
Homes break when you listen to the judgements of other people about the people you live with. First of all, when entering into a love marriage, if you expect all your wishes and desires to be met by your loyal slave only at the wave of your magic wand, then you are an idiot. That is not how marriages work. If you enter into marriage with the aim of controlling your in-laws, you are being an idiot once again, driven by Adrenalin and ambition, or maybe by Star Plus. You probably could not find a better job and entered into marriage for the sake of money, pretending it was love.
For girls, in a successful marriage, after you leave your mother's home, you need to keep one thing in mind; the world does not revolve around you, and people had lives even before you arrived and they will continue having their lives even in your presence. Instead of poking your nose into other people's personal matters, or trying to make your relationships better with the enemies of your in-laws, so that you can strengthen your position, you may want to concentrate on bettering your relationship with your husband.
The solution to most of the problems that women are faced with after marriage, lies within them and unfortunately they look for these solutions outside of themselves by using their little brains and as a result, they end up ruining their lives. This is for those women who murder their relationships with their own bare hands using their own pea-brains.
Mothers, when marrying off their daughters, should give their daughters some tips on home-making. They should ask their daughters to learn to compromise and be more patient, and to keep their private matters inside the bounds of the four walls of their home instead of becoming chatter boxes and blurting out almost everything they perceive according to their own small minds to the not so kind relatives of their in-laws who in turn will not leave any chance of getting back at them for some grudge they have held against them for years. Instead, mothers when marrying their daughters off, probably ask them to watch as much Star Plus Dramas as possible, for living a successful Star Plus life. What a shame !
Coming to the boys. The not so happy with his current life, young and strong boy of today, who disrespects his mother and sisters, wants his life to change overnight by finding a magical woman he can marry and live a Star Plus life, finds a woman and marries her. Yeah, I hate Star Plus, for a fact that each man and woman I know, whose lives are a train wreck, were staunch Star Plus fans. I blame Star Plus for their conditioning.
Boys, before they decide to enter into marriage, should realize that marriage is not a bed of roses. It is a responsibility. Boys who are totally dependent upon their mothers or sisters for doing their laundry and providing them with food, expect the same from their wives after entering into love marriage. They marry someone they think will magically make their lives worth living. Blindly in love, and desperate to get married, they embrace witches and realize life is not so good after marriage at all. They may marry women who won't look after them as their mothers did, making them breakfast in the morning, polishing their boots, doing the laundry. They get disappointed and realize they are back to square one.
Relationships would not end in train wrecks if people would focus more on making marriages successful, rather than on grand weddings.
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